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"I ask partners to participate: caress, kiss, fondle, in a way that enhances their partner's pleasure," Dr. If this feels like "too much" to add into a penetrative-sex sesh, she recommends supplementing it at either the beginning or the end of partnered sex. "I encourage women to try and recreate their masturbation routine during partnered sex," says sex therapist Nagma V. If not, your partner "might end up feeling like pleasure is not an important part of the sexual experience," Orley says. To shake up your routine, Orley suggests talking about porn (and maybe watching it together), experimenting with some sex toys, sexting, or anything else.Īnother factor to consider is whether you can orgasm through partnered, penetrative sex. A 2016 study even found that people in long-term relationships were more satisfied with their sex lives when they incorporated variety. (Many "have a better sexual experience with the same partners who know their body than having a lot of bad sex with a lot of different people," Orley says.) Rather, it's about exploring your fantasies with your partner and changing things up. This doesn't necessarily mean variety of partners, per se.
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Meaning, variation in bed can stoke a fire of sexual interest. "Another thing that can play a role, specifically for women experiencing a drop in their sex drive, is a sameness in their sex lives," Orley says. The sex is samey, and you're not seeing fireworks
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